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RAGZ DANDELION
Glam Rawk Tatterdemalion Of The Neon Ragznarok!
ragzdandelion

Let me tell you about a dream I had many years ago. It was such a great dream, I have never forgotten it. It was like a look into my future, a perfect future, that I held on too many years, in hopes it would proven to be true.
But, considering our situation, it was unlikely. But, I still would think of it many times.

In this dream, I had an art studio, filled with painting and art supplies and huge windows that would give me tons of natural light. The view from outside the window was trees with Spanish Moss hanging from it, colorful greens and yellows and with a misty foggy hue outside.
Inside the studio, standing atop a platform, were two models, a male and a female, almost nude, posing for some painting I was beginning to sketch out.
There was a knock on the door and I opened it.
Stacey walked in, holding a big plate of sandwiches and munchies and drinks for everyone. The models knew her and they were happy to see her.
Stacey, smiled and said "Is Dave having fun painting his naked people again?", everyone laughed.
The thing that really struck me as beautiful about it all, was that Stacey had long, grey hair, and little wrinkles , not deep, but it was obvious she, and I were much older.
We were living the dream as that eccentric, older artistic couple.somewhere where we always wanted to be, in our little studio house Everything seemed perfect.
It was perfect.

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ragzdandelion

The past few days I have actually been better as far as my depression and anxiety goes. I was able to get some things done and face the world.

Course that could be because I didn't have to work and the roads have been good. I guess we'll see how I deal with it all tomorrow when I'm back to work and we are expected some snow tonight.

Plus, Thursday will be Stacey's birthday. I thought about taking the day ff, but I really need the money. Yet, I know it's going to be a really hard day for me. I don't know what to do.

I want to have a get together at my place on Saturday to celebrate her birthday by playing her favorite cartoons and movies and eating her fave foods. Everyone is invited if they want to join me. I would like that.

Just trying to keep positive. Just can't wait til the Spring & Summer to get here.

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ragzdandelion

So tired of being overwhelmed with anxiety. It's bad enough that tomorrow is Monday, I haven't found a way out of this suck ass city yet, and I have to deal with a snowstorm tomorrow driving to work and back.

Trying to relax and take my mind off of it, but nothing is working. Beyond stressed.

Fucking Hell.

Well, if I die tomorrow at least I got out of Michigan.

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ragzdandelion

I finally had a dream last night that Stacey was in. I didn't know where we were at, but it was someplace like a park, at night, slightly foggy and warm. I was looking for her and couldn't find her, then she appeared right in front of me. We hugged and she smiled and I told her I loved her. She smiled again. I then asked her to marry me again and she said yes. But, then the smile turned to sadness. Her eyes became dark and round and  teared up. A harsh reminder. The unwanted recalling. it was then that she remembered she was dead, and so did I. There were No words spoken as we looked at each other in this sad reminder.

Then, I woke up.

No matter the pain, Is it wrong to say "At least I got to see her face again?"



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ragzdandelion

The snow has arrived. I hate snow. It makes driving a frigging nightmare, it's cold and it's always trying to kill me. 

But, I had to venture out this morning to pay bills and try to find a cheap gift for a co-worker because we're doing that whole Secret Santa thing. I don't have any clue what to get this guy. He lives such a different life than I that I have no idea what to get him. But, I ventured into a nearby Target to see what they had.

Couldn't find anything, but saw a toaster in the shape of a Star Wars Deathstar. I immediately  thought of Stacey. She would've order this for sure. She would have loved it. Then I saw a Lost In Space robot, which, I'm pretty sure she would have ordered for me. I just know she would've. She knew how much I loved that guy.

So, I just had to leave the store before I burst out in tears. Not because I didn't go and buy that stuff, but because knowing Stacey she would have been so excited about it all. This is the first Christmas without her. She was the best gift giver in the world. She LOVED giving gifts. She had so much fun with it, and she was super good at it. She could always find that rare thing that she would always surprise me with. I always got her big cardboard cutouts of her fave sexy dudes- Thor, Loki Bucky, Capt. Hook from Once Upon A Time.

This year will be none of that. I have no expectations of enjoying this season at all. It's going to be torture. I just want Christmas and all that fuckery that goes along with it, to go away.

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ragzdandelion

It takes everything I have, every iota of strength to get through every day. You know that feeling when you spin out in your car or just miss an accident and your heart is racing and it feels like it's going to burst out of your chest?

I feel like that all the time.

When I get home, I burst.

It all comes out and I crumble. The only thing that helps is drawing, but that's only sometimes.

I am exhausted from trying to find a way to fix this, but that's really all I do. Try to find a way to fix this.

I spend most of my time scouring the job sites in desperate attempt to find something that I am even remotely qualified for so I can try to get out of this shit that I am in. I hate almost every aspect of my life right now. Other than friends and family, a little space to call my own and, well, at least I HAVE a job that's barely keeping me afloat, I am miserable. I battle the urge to just stop everything and fade out every day.It wouldn't take much to push me over.

Except, that I am angry and just enough of a fighter to stick around just in spite of the world. That and, I guess, I still have some semblance of hope that things will change. But, I really don't know how. It just seems so impossible.The meds aren't working, the advice isn't helping. What I need is a positive change.And I can't seem to make that happen.

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ragzdandelion

Patton Oswalt has been a very important help in trying to deal with the loss of Stacey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENIIevCgel4

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ragzdandelion

I don't know why, but I started thinking back to when Stacey worked at the GameCrazy store in Las Vegas and I would go next door to Hollywood Video to rent movies while waiting for her to get out of work. Then we would swing by The Quiznos and get something to eat before heading home..

It just was such a simple time. When things were so perfect. Just her, her cat Bermuda and I, living a little life in our apartment in Las Vegas.

Simple and easy.

Like a dream.

Now it seems like it was someone else's life. Like something I read or watched.

Something I long for so much now. 

Before the cancer. Before we left Las Vegas. Before she lost her spark and I lost my way.  Before we had to follow the shitty healthcare system to bring me back to the place I never ever wanted to return to. Before everything that is now.

 How the fuck did I lose that? How could something like this happen?

I hate what my life has become.




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ragzdandelion

It's been quite a while since I've posted in LiveJournal. I know, the platform has faded away in most of the social media world, but I'm still a big fan of the format, so I thought I would return.

But, it's a different kind of blog for me now.

A little over 6 months ago my wife passed away after a 10 year long battle with cancer. I had spent most of the past 10 years being her caretaker, focusing most of my energy and attention on her and , since a traditional job would've interfered with that, I worked mainly as a freelance illustrator.

Now, that she has passed, it's been a hard and very difficult refocusing on my life. Bills need to be paid, so I have gone full time as a shipping clerk at a local warehouse. 

But, my main goal now is to reboot my life. I am trying to find a way to do something that means something to me and gets me up every morning, because, after the loss of Stacey, well, it's been the hardest thing I have ever deal with. Each day has been a struggle to find motivation and meaning.

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ragzdandelion
Holy smokes! I haven't posted in here for over a month. I'm slackin'!

Actually, I was pretty busy doin' up some fresh artwork for an event I was at last month. It was a massive car show and I was one of the vendors at the place, so I didied ups some car-related artwork.

So, here's a few of them!
JetJaguarInAJaguar_color_small

SchlockRodzFatherFear_small

VaranAVroomVroom_small


YogMobile_small

AckAckAckAckVroom_small

BigBadWolfster_small


RacinRobotMonster_small

I don't have any other shows at the moment til October, so I'm all available for art gigs, commissions and any kind of artwork you need. Just contacting me through my Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Ragzdandelion and let's all get our art on!

CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Bigelf

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ragzdandelion
Been busy working on CRITTERWITCH for RAGZ MAGAZINE. Still need to ink it and add the words, but it's coming along. Here be a few teaser artwork from it-

CritterwitchPanel_pencils_small

CritterwitchLogo_small

CritterwitchPencils_small

Critterwitch_deadfather_small Critterwitch_pencil_panel_small

And my never ending quest to fill up as many sketchbooks as I can-


VroomVroomVaran_small

Velvette_small

VisionSketch_small

FightApathy_orDon't_small

KiaroscuroIncubus_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: The Modern Lovers

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ragzdandelion
Recent sketches, scribblez and artwerx!

BatmanAGoGo_small

1654309_10152059825364926_1774490769_n

Deadman_small

Euryale_small

TheInhumans_small

GirlInGraphite_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: The Boogeymen

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ragzdandelion
Yo, my glitterkatz n' ghooliedawgz, don't forget to mark your calendars! Next Saturday I will have a table at THE FLINT COMIXCON! I will have prints, original artwork, paintings, sketch cards, books and more for sale! Also, I will have a sneeky peeky look at a new magazine I'm currently plotting and planning called RAGZ. It's kind of if you cross the 1970's Warren Magazines(Vampirella,Creepy,Eerie,Famous Monsters of Filmland), rock magazines( Creem, Rock Scene) and other monster magazines( The Monster Times, Castle of Frankenstein) and underground comix of the 60's & 70's. That's where I plan to feature my original comic characters such as Ragzdandelion, Father Fear, The Critterwitch, Stompicide, Sinderella Succubus and many, many more! Plus, I want to do features on other artists, bands & music, other creators and so much more.

I'm still in the very early stages of organizing all my ideas in my head for RAGZ, but I'm also in the process of finishing up the pencils for THE CRITTERWITCH. Alot of stuff to do, but it's given me a clear focus on what I wanna do with all this stuff pinging around in my noggin'!

So, again, I look forward to seeing you all at THE FLINT COMIXCON 2014 next Saturday!!

1148926_10201057441352901_1265648305_n

Okay, now on to the recent artworx that has scratched out of me fingers!

SisterOfKnives_small

AnimalBeaker_small

GypsyRagz_small

OhTheJapanity_small

GettingMyFacePregnant_small

A batch of new sketch cards-

MisterMiracleSketchCard_small MedusaSketchCard_small MokkariSketchcard_small MorbiusSketchCard_small

SkrullSketchCard_small WolverineBeerSketchCard_small ZombieFinn_small VampirellaSketchcard_small

And some new watercolor painted post cards-

ThanosPostcard_small MutationsPostcard_small

And various other paintings and artworks-

Gorgon_small Stheno_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Dewey Terry - Cheif

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ragzdandelion
EEP!

It's been almost a month since I tortured you with my babblin'.

Just been working on things for the upcoming FLINT COMIXCON on April 12. Gotta build up the stock!

So, here's a various handful of recent stuffs that I will have available at the show.

Papa Emeritus II_small

Catman_small

BlackBolt_enhanced_small

Arabellia_enhanced_small

TheBride_altered_small

And a few new sketch cards I've doodled up-

BatPower_small   MantisSketchCard_small RocketRaccoonSketchCard_small CountDuckula_small

and a sketch cover for ARMAGEDDON:HELL!

ArmageddonHell_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Dregen

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ragzdandelion
Been busy doing sketch cards for a new set, some new artwork for LEGENDS OF THE BOO-MONSTER, resumed some work on my CRITTERWITCH comic and various other things. All that stuff will be posted soon, but for now, here's some recent scribblinz and gobblygook from my sketchbooks!

BlindDead_small

MantisSketch01_small

Maximillion_small

PrisonersInTheHandofRagz

LoveDon'tLiveHereAnymore_small

BloodSuckers_small

Argh_small

BrainJuicersOfBerblabberon_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Dregen

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ragzdandelion
Haven't been doing too much as far as any major projects lately. Most of it has been prep work and getting things lined up and in gear for upcoming projects-thumbnailing, lay outs and rough pencils for THE CRITTERWITCH comic story, working out rough ideas for sketch cards I will be doing for CONTEMPORARY PIN-UPS next set PIN-UPS & PITBULLS, various other artworks and organizing the conventions and shows to be part of once all this damn snow melts and I can actually get around.

But that doesn't mean I haven't been drawing or sketching about. Here's a ton of rough sketches, drawing and whatnots from my sketchbooks over the past two months!

Some new characters I'm developing-

Sanjulia

SwordOfSanjulia_small

Obex
Obex

Sister Mary Fuck
SisterMaryFuck_small

Karigari

Karigari

The Mechanicak
TheMechachanicak_small

Getting into doing Rock Posters lately, so here's some rough ideas I've been trying out for that kind of stuff.

PrincessDieRockPoster01_small

StrictlyTabooPoster_small

Nosferatoon_small

Reworked an older piece, adding more depth, shadows and the title to it.

Witchgravy_small

And some other various stuff I've sketched out -

BrainJuicersOfBerblabberon_small

InAllItsHornyGlory_small

Ribbons_small

ToneSirensofRagznarok_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: American Horror Story theme music

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ragzdandelion
I haven't disappeared completely, just been taking some time to re-examine where I'm at and where I want to go next with my artwork and life in general. It's an artist thing, I guess. It's not like I haven't been doing any artwork, just nothing major. Alot of just sketching around.I haven't even partaken in any local art events. Course, that probably has to do more with the shitty snowy weather we've been having. I'm a total pussy when it comes to driving in the snow and ice. Hopefully we'll thaw out soon and maybe I can get my oomph back and get back out there.

So, here's just a few things I've painted or sketched up and trying to get my mojo back up to snuff for the new year.

TheBride_B&W_small

LeagueOfFreekz_small

TheAngelsAreDeafenedByTheBells_small

You'veMessedWithTheWrongGirl_small

ZombieBait_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: ELO

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ragzdandelion
More recent artworks to wrap up the year with!

Mamuna_color_small

Howl_small

CaptainVictory_color_small

ProfileOfAGirl_pencils

TheVision_small

FatherFearPossession_small

Wouldn'tItBeBetterToBeDead_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Thin Lizzy

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ragzdandelion
More paintings, drawings and  sketches and whatnots from the last few months.

TheCritterwitch-BlueToxic_small

ChildCatcher_small

Grotesk_color_small

DaikaijuGypsyQueen_small

Jack White_small

MondoHatton_small

Hepzibah_small

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Gogol Bordello

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ragzdandelion
Well, 2013 is quickly coming to a close, so it's time to start emptying out the files and wrap it up. So, here be a handful of recent sketchies and stuff I've whipped up within' the last three months.

PunkRockIsWastedOnTheYouth_small

AgentsOfRagznarok_small

AllWomenAreBad_small

Argh_small

Bleepers

CatFace_small

CatGirl

More to come in the next few days!

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CURRENTLY RINGING IN MY POINTY EARZ IZ:: Advanced Demonology

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